Meeting Yourself with Gentleness and Curiosity: A Lifelong Journey from Baby to Adult

Name: Meeting Life with gentleness and curiosity.
Uploaded: 2026-01-21T15:02:44.922270+00:00
Channel: MindyourLife
Description: Summary and key takeaways on Meeting Yourself with Gentleness and Curiosity: A Lifelong Journey from Baby to Adult, covering Introduction The speaker welcomes

MindyourLife

Jan 21, 2026

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3 min read

YouTube video ID: 9qkXFYJ7Oxc

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Introduction

The speaker welcomes viewers and introduces the core theme: meeting yourself and life with gentleness and curiosity.
Emphasizes that all humans share the same emotions despite varied experiences.

The Early Years – The Baby as a Crystal Ball

Newborns are described as a "crystal ball" with no self‑awareness, driven only by basic needs.
From 3 months to 1 year, babies explore freely, receive only smiles and giggles, and never hear "no".
This period is pure curiosity, free of judgment.

The First Encounter with "No" (Ages 2‑3)

Children begin testing boundaries; caregivers say "no" to keep them safe.
The tone matters: gentle explanations foster understanding, while shouting creates fear that colors the word "no" for life.

Building Consciousness (Ages 4‑5)

Vocabulary expands; children can ask "why?" when told no.
Caregivers may project their own fears, adding judgments like "you’ll look silly" which embed negative associations.

Social Conditioning (Ages 7‑18)

Children absorb adult conversations filled with criticism of others, cultures, and institutions.
Society often rewards negative talk, reinforcing a judgmental mindset.
Subconscious learning leads to internalized fear of failure and a habit of seeing the world as a place of judgment.

Adult Realization and the Cycle of Blame

As adults, many feel anger toward parents for the negative conditioning.
The speaker reframes this: parents acted from their own subconscious fear, not malice.
The pattern of protection‑based "no" is a societal construct, not an individual fault.

Radical Acceptance

Defined as acknowledging what has happened while recognizing the power to change.
Accepting the past frees you from resentment and opens space for conscious choice.
Responsibility for one’s thoughts becomes a source of empowerment.

Practical Steps for Emotional Regulation

Pause and Identify: Recall a recent negative emotion, locate where it’s felt in the body (head, shoulders, stomach, hips).
Trace the Origin: Ask when you first felt this emotion—often in childhood.
Allow the Feeling: Give the body time to regulate instead of suppressing it.
Gentle Self‑Talk: Speak to your inner child with compassion (“You are enough”).
Slow Down: In a fast‑paced world, intentionally create moments of stillness to observe emotions.

Nurturing the Inner Child

Visualize meeting the child version of yourself; offer love, validation, and encouragement.
Recognize that the inner child is still learning and deserves patience.
Use this connection to re‑program neuroplasticity toward positivity.

Integrating Mind, Body, and Soul

Emotional work benefits all three aspects:
Mind: Shifts thought patterns.
Body: Releases stored tension.
Soul: Restores a sense of purpose and connection.
Consistent practice leads to a more rounded, positive thinker and doer.

Final Thoughts

Life is a continuous self‑journey; beginning with gentleness and curiosity sets the tone.
Negative thoughts are not inherently "wrong"; they are signals to explore.
By meeting yourself with compassion, you can transform personal experience and positively influence those around you.

Embracing gentleness and curiosity toward yourself—starting from the innocent curiosity of infancy and extending through adult self‑reflection—allows you to rewrite the subconscious scripts of fear and judgment, fostering emotional freedom, healthier neuroplasticity, and a more compassionate presence in the world.

Frequently Asked Questions

Who is MindyourLife on YouTube?

MindyourLife is a YouTube channel that publishes videos on a range of topics. Browse more summaries from this channel below.

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Helpful resources related to this video

If you want to practice or explore the concepts discussed in the video, these commonly used tools may help.

The Body Keeps The Score Book Recommended

Explains how trauma is stored in the body and offers practical tools for emotional regulation, helping readers apply the gentle, curious approach discussed.

Amazon →

Radical Acceptance Tara Brach Paperback

Provides a deep dive into the concept of radical acceptance, guiding readers to acknowledge past experiences while empowering change.

Amazon →

Mindfulness Journal For Self Reflection

A physical journal encourages daily gentle self‑inquiry and tracking of emotions, supporting the practice of slowing down and meeting yourself with curiosity.

Amazon →

Meditation Cushion Floor Pillow

Facilitates comfortable seated meditation, helping the body relax and the mind focus during the emotional regulation practices described.

Amazon →

The Power Of Now Eckhart Tolle Paperback

Teaches presence and awareness techniques that align with meeting life with gentleness and curiosity, enhancing the reader's ability to stay in the moment.

Amazon →

Links may be affiliate links. We only include resources that are genuinely relevant to the topic.

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Full Transcript YouTube

Hello and welcome. I really hope that
you're doing well today and I just want
to say a big thank you for joining me on
my first mind topic. I want my channel
to be quite open as I believe that even
though we go through a lot of different
experiences, we all hold the same
emotions.
So I'm going to start off with this
topic being all about how to meet
yourself and life with gentleness and
curiosity. And the meaning behind that
is when you meet yourself with being
gentle and you find yourself being
curious about why you are the way that
you are, the more you can begin to move
forward with life. And this meets with
the three parts of yourself, of your
mind, your body, and your soul. So,
we're going to dive into it starting
with the fundamental part of your being,
which is your childhood. So when we
enter this world, we're this little tiny
baby and I often like to think of this
little tiny baby as a crystal ball. You
have no consciousness. You have no
awareness of your being as of yet. You
just eat, you sleep, and uh you cry to
get what you want. And that's initially
being a baby. When you get to the ages
of 3 months and uh before you turn one
years old, you meet yourself with this
curiosity for life. You can sit in your
high chair. You can rub food all over
your face. You can throw it out of your
high chair. You can squeal at the top of
your lungs. You can crawl everywhere
learning how to walk. And you are never
met with judgment of yourself or with
judgment of others either. When people
see a baby, they look at it, they laugh.
No matter what you do, you're not told
no. You're just
you're just there laughing and having
fun and not having any sort of judgment
of yourself because first of all, you're
not old enough. And second of all,
you're not taught to have judgment of
yourself. No matter what you do, you're
met with a giggle, a smile. Uh so you're
still met with all your needs and you're
never told no. So when you're a baby,
you're pretty clear. You've got clear
conscious and you're this little crystal
ball and you're formed over time through
nurture and nature as well. So what I
mean by nurture and nature is your
parents nurture you to grow up and also
nature as well playing a part with
genetics which can not only form the way
of your physical being but also forms
your mental being as well. So the two
come into play very close together. From
the ages of 2 to three, you're probably
causing a little bit of mischief right
by now. You're running around the house.
You're testing boundaries. And because
of that, you're being told no more than
what you ever have done before. And
initially, this is so you don't hurt
yourself. You know, you don't want to
put your hand on that hot stove. You
don't want to go near the kettle. And
you don't want to fall down the stairs.
So, your parents or your caregivers at
this point are just trying to protect
you. But sometimes that can affect us
being told no in more ways than it can
do good. Now, a little bit of an
explanation of this. So, if you're told
no, but when you're told no, you're not
meant with that not met with that
gentleness and instead you're met with
someone shouting in your face, that is
going to implement fear onto this little
crystal ball, which is you. and then it
will change the color and it will change
the way that you react to that word no
throughout the rest of your life.
Whereas if you're told no and you're met
with a little bit more gentleness and
even a little bit of an explanation of
why you don't want to do that, then
you'll have more awareness of oh okay I
guess no not is not so bad because I
have been told that if I do this then
this is going to come into place and it
will harm me.
So when you're ages 2 to three, you're
often told no just to protect your own
being and also just to make sure that
you don't hurt anyone else around you,
which is a really great thing. From the
ages of four to five, this is where we
build our consciousness. So your
dictionary of words is more available
than what it ever was to you at the
younger ages. So when someone tells you
no, now you have the option to ask okay
but why are you telling me no? Now once
again this is coming to the part of
protecting you but our parents can often
project or caregivers can often project
their fears onto us. So when you are
young and you ask why can't I do that
you might be often met with words such
as you will look silly what will other
people think about you and what do you
think will happen when you get older now
that word no when you are wanting to do
something or try something out and then
you're being told no and then met with
this fear of judgment that fear is then
implemented into that crystal ball and
is now changing you for that future.
So without knowing and without realizing
the word no is put into our negative
dictionary and we often look at the
world around us as a place of judgment
rather than a place of opportunity.
From the ages of 7 to 18, we are much
more aware of the conversations which
are happening around us. So you might
often hear your caregivers talking about
the neighbor, talking about a teacher at
your school. They might even judge other
cultures, religions, people around them,
different countries, their own country,
and they meet at a place of judgment.
Now without realizing and and this is a
great place just to observe you'll
notice that a lot of conversations go on
to a negative topic because the way that
society is formed these days is we can't
really talk positively about anything
because it's named as hippie- dipper
whereas if you talk negatively about
something then it's so much better
apparently to talk negative. So you'll
realize a lot of adult conversations go
onto negative subjects. Now, as
children, it's not like we can go off
and play house and have fun. Instead, we
have to meet with these strict rules
that society has put in place for us.
So, when we're a child and we're taking
in these topics of conversations around
us, even though we might not be in that
conversation, we're still subconsciously
taking it in, we're learning that the
judgment that your parents have given to
someone else, we should also not do. So
they might judge the way that someone
else is living their life, the job that
someone else has, the people in that
other person's life. You are met with
this
being of another person which is now
deemed wrong wrong in your subconscious
mind. Now, as we get older and we start
to flee off on our own, say from the
ages of 18 and you attend university or
you get a job or maybe you even move out
in the later stages, you are met with
this fear of wanting to meet the
societal norms. Because as a child,
you're tucking the word no or you're
tucking the word of you will look silly
or you'll do it wrong or you can't do
that because you aren't good enough.
This feeds into your subconscious and
becomes your thoughts without realizing
it. And then you as an individual will
begin to live in fear. Now, you're
probably at a point now where you're
looking at your parents and you're like,
I can't believe that they fed me so much
negative information. I'm really angry
at them. How dare they make me feel like
that? And you're meeting them in a state
of anger, which is very normal. You're a
human being and we have these emotions.
But even your parents without realizing,
this fear also lives in their
subconscious. So whatever your parents
know and are passing on to you isn't
coming from a place of hate. It isn't
coming from a place of keeping you in a
box. It's actually trying to protect you
from a world they was also trying to be
protected from. So it wasn't your
parents' fault. Neither was it your
their parents' parents' fault or their
parents' parents' parents' fault. It's
actually just the way that society has
built us to be to try its best to keep
us protected. And this is the first
stage of being gentle and curious with
the world around you. So looking at your
parents, this can either be in the
physical aspect of they're downstairs or
you've gone to see them or even just
visualizing them in your mind
rather than meeting them with that anger
that's now built up because you're
observing the way of how judgment has
been placed into your household and how
that might have made you feel set back
as an adult. rather meeting your
caregivers, your parents with the
understanding that they are just here
having that same experience and they
have not met that part on a subconscious
level because they was always trying to
protect themselves. Now, when we're
younger, it's not our fault. Our nervous
system is looking for safety. So when
you are born and you're given to and
your parents are taking care of you,
your mind is automatically looking for
that safety. So it will look for that
safety in your parents' voice. It will
look for that safety in the blanket. It
will look for that safety in nostalgic
meals. So as you get older, your brain
is also trying to protect itself and
keep into that safe nervous system. So
it will use the thoughts as you had when
you was a child of not being good enough
or not being able to do things or having
the fear of looking sill. It will keep
that there because that is your safety
blanket for your mind and your nervous
system. And that isn't your fault. It's
just the way the human body works. So
meeting your parents, your caregivers,
your providers, that could also be your
siblings that projected this fear onto
you as well because once again they come
from the same household. They're going
to have that same mannerism in their
mind as you. Meeting your family with
that gentleness and that curiosity to
understand that it neither was their
fault. You have to really dive into that
subconscious in order to change your
neuroplasticity.
Now, if you're fed so much as a child
these negative thoughts, you are going
to only see that one direction. So, it's
not anyone's fault. It's just the way
that society has made us to protect us.
But it is your responsibility if you
have met yourself on that subconscious
level to change the way your thought
pattern and your neuroplasticity is
formed. Now it is easier when we're
children to change that neuroplasticity.
That's why we are so malleable to all
these thoughts, these um aspects we've
been given about how life should be.
that when we get older, it really is a
journey to find yourself through that
change. So, going back to
feeling that anger within your parents,
your caregivers, your siblings,
there is a
another part that can really help to let
go and meet with that gentleness and
curiosity in your family life. And that
is called radical acceptance.
Now it is a another journey to go on is
understanding radical acceptance. But it
is understanding
that what is done is done and what has
been done can be changed and being okay
with that. Understanding that there is a
way to move forward and just accepting
reality for what it is. Now once again,
it wasn't your fault, but taking that
responsibility will give you a greater
power than what anything ever could. So
understanding that even though this
wasn't your fault, you can either dwell
in that energy and stay stuck in that
resentment of your past life when you
had no option or choice to get out of a
certain household or getting out of a of
a thought habit. You are now an adult
who is able to make decisions for
yourself for that better future. And
this is an energy that you can pick up
on and cultivate into becoming a much
more rounded person in yourself, a
positive thinker, a positive doer, and
someone who goes out there and collects
back all the dreams that was taken away
from them as a young child and picks
them all back up and goes and achieves
them because you have accepted reality.
exactly for how it is rather than from
thinking how it should be. If you keep
on holding on to this anger, the body
holds. So you might begin to feel this
anger within your chest, within your
hips, your stomach might begin to
cramp up from that tension. Whereas if
you just learn to accept the body begins
to let go and through that movement and
your pace of life becomes easier,
thoughts become easier to deal with
because you are being gentle with that
letting go and gentle with the people
that are around you. Because like I said
earlier, it wasn't your parents' fault.
It wasn't your parents' parents' fault
and it wasn't their parents' parents'
fault. It's society that is trying its
best to protect you. And unfortunately,
that comes in protecting you from the
good that life has to offer offer. But
it's now your chance to change that
neuroplasticity in your mind and realize
that what has been done before can be
done again. Now, as you accept that your
childhood was the way that it was, now
I'm not going to say that you're going
to be healed from just hearing them 10
words that I've just said. It is an
ongoing process. But this is the next
step that you can take in order for you
to meet now yourself with that
gentleness and curiosity.
So, I want you to think about the last
time that you was annoyed, frustrated,
embarrassed, or upset by a conversation.
This is one of the main parts on how you
can understand how you were feeling and
why you was feeling it. So maybe going
back to a time. So taking yourself back
to a time where you felt a negative
emotion in a conversation. Just really
taking that time to feel and feeling
where you might have felt that in the
body. Maybe it gave you a headache once
again. Maybe you held it in the
shoulders, the stomach, the thighs, the
legs even.
and taking yourself back to the first
time that you felt that emotion.
When was that? Most of the time it can
be in the childhood when we experience
embarrassment.
We often cry and shut ourselves off. But
then a parent, a caregiver, a teacher
will come over and be like, "What are
you crying for? There's no need to cry."
And therefore you are holding that
emotion inside the body because you have
not given your body your nervous system
time to regulate out of that emotion and
cultivate some understanding of yourself
and why it made you feel that way. When
we were little, we often shut down about
how our bodies interlink with our mind
and we're told to sit there and stay
still. When I was a child, I was very
emotional and I still am to this day.
And I actually don't take that as a
negative thing. When I was younger, I
was told, "Don't cry. Stop crying.
There's nothing to cry about." But only
me as that little child knew how I felt
in my body and knew how that emotion was
making me feel. And I knew that the more
that I got upset about something because
I was the reason being was because I was
holding in that emotion. whereas if I
had time to come into my room or go to
my mom for a hug that that emotion would
regulate quicker and I was able to work
through it. So, when we're younger and
we're told, if you're a boy, don't be
such a girl. You're crying so much. Or
when we're little girls and we're told,
don't cry as much. Uh, it makes you look
ugly. You're holding in these emotions.
And as a child, you don't have time to
do that emotional regulation.
And this is where it pays a part on the
mind, the body, and the soul as you get
older. So, this is where that self-help,
that self-work, that self understanding
comes into play. Now, we live in such
fast world these days and we're told to
do go to the gym and work out, meal prep
everything, work 9 to5, work on your own
business, go and see your friends, go
and see your family, get a house, go go
and travel the world. There's so many
things to do, which is great to be
thankful for because what an opportunity
to live in in this day and age. But the
world is so fast-paced. We don't take
time to slow down and do that emotional
regulation that our body needs. So we
often find ourselves getting burnt out
crying over little things, arguing with
our with our spouses, arguing with our
parents, our siblings, falling out of
love with some of our family.
Whereas if you just take some time just
to slow down and go back into these
emotions and when you're having a
conversation, taking in a moment to
realize how it makes you feel. Some
people you might feel really anxious to
speak to. You might feel really
energetically
a given to speak to. You might find
someone really peaceful to talk to. But
we don't take that time to take that
energy in and realize why it's making us
feel that way. That's why it's important
to slow down and start to observe how
certain topics, how certain
conversations make you feel and actually
taking the time to feel that emotion.
When we feel a negative emotion, as
spoken before, we're told when we're
younger, don't feel this emotion. Bottle
it up because no one wants to see that.
We turned a blind eye. And that's
exactly what happens when we get older.
When someone mentions something to us
that makes us feel uncomfortable, we
shut the opposite way and we go and slag
them off behind the back. rather than
sitting down and realizing that your
emotions
are your responsibility to take care of.
And there is a reason why that topic of
conversation has hit a nerve. Now, it
isn't someone else's problem or someone
else's fault for you to go off and take
that out on someone else because someone
else has made you feel uncomfortable.
Most of the time, people make people
feel uncomfortable without even
realizing, but it's us that can do the
work to make ourselves feel better and
then laugh off that topic of
conversation and realize that we all
live different lives and we all live as
one. And sometimes, half of the time, we
don't realize what we're saying because
we live in a fast-paced world that we
don't have time to think about what
we're saying. But taking this time now
to slow down,
realize the emotions that live inside
the body. And the more you sit and the
more that you feel, the more release and
healing the body does.
Because whether you think this or not,
the body, the mind knows everything it
needs to know to heal itself.
You realize after a moment there isn't
one or two ways to think. There's 250
billion ways to think about one topic of
conversation.
So, it's really important to sit down
and let your body your let your body and
your mind relax. The more you relax your
mind and the more you relax your body,
the more that soul has an answer for
your well-being.
The more you meet yourself with sitting
down and feeling an emotion rather than
turning away from it. I hear a lot of
people say to themselves, "Oh, you're an
idiot. Oh gosh, you're a silly person.
Why would you do that? Why are you
thinking that?" Meeting yourself with
anger rather than meeting yourself with
an answer. So, the more you take time
just to slow down and be inside your
body, you are meeting yourself with that
gentleness and curiosity. One of my
favorite things to do is to go back and
thinking about being a child. I weirdly
remember a lot from being a child. I
remember everything from crawling from
being picked up from my crib to learning
how to walk to then everything going
really quick and then being 3 years old
and going to nursery and remembering all
these topics of conversations which made
me upset or made me cry
and working through these emotions as I
got to adult life. And I realized in
myself that as I got older, I took less
topics of conversation seriously and I
started to laugh about them instead. And
I still took the time to cry and most of
the time that's just through my own
emotions and my own worry as we all live
in. Um, and really taking the time just
to work through them rather than to work
against them. And I met myself as that
little child. I met myself as that
little girl when I had a negative
thought or a negative aspect of
thinking. I took myself back to being
that child and I remembered that I am
still that person. I am still that
little girl. I'm still learning. I'm
still growing till the day that I die. I
am still here to nourish that child
inside. So if I was to look at that
little girl face to face, I would not
call her an idiot. I would not call her
stupid. I would never tell her that she
wasn't enough. Instead, I would flip
that switch and I'd look at that little
girl in the face and I'd say to her,
"You are enough. You can go out there
and you can achieve everything that you
want to achieve. Even though emotions
are going to make you sad and your
emotions are going to get on top of you,
they are your responsibility to work
through. And that all comes down to
slowing down and understanding where
your thought process came from. And from
then on, you can begin again. What a
beautiful thing that every day we get to
wake up on a clean slate and begin
again. That every minute, every second
of the day, we don't have to sit and
dwell on something. Instead, we can do
the selfwork within ourselves to meet
life, other people, ourselves with that
gentleness and curiosity of what life
can truly be rather than just filling it
with hate and busyiness and feeling the
need to accomplish to be something.
rather than to be here and just
experience the emotions, experience the
community that's around us and realize
that we are all one having the same
experience of emotions onto this planet.
The more curious we are with the people
that are around us and the more gentle
that we are, the more that will project
onto ourselves and to other people in
the world. Because no one lives wrong.
There's no right or wrong to live.
There's just you, your consciousness,
your mind, your body, your soul, and
what you do with it to take
accomplishment, to take experience, to
take everything into your everyday in
order to live an enriched full life.
Now, self journey is something that will
never stop and what a beautiful journey
it is to be on. But it does start with
being gentle and curious. That is the
main point because you can start to
develop on this self journey, but the
more you set meet yourself with hate,
you're going to turn a blind eye. You're
going to keep turning a blind eye to the
thing that's going to get you to where
you want to be. Everyone on this earth
wants peace, love, laughter, have a
lovely community, somewhere to settle,
somewhere to feel love. And that place
starts with inside of your body. And the
more that you can take that inside of
you, the more you can project that out
into the world around you.
So, next time you have a negative
thought or you wake up with feeling
anxious or scared or worried, taking
time to look at that little child that
always wanted to feel loved, that always
wanted to feel peace,
and then taking that within you and
being and saying, "Okay, my emotions are
valid. My emotions are good to deal
with. I'm going to let this emotion be."
And from then on when this emotion has
settled, my nervous system has
regulated, my body and my mind will have
an answer. Some things might be
difficult to hear that your emotions are
your responsibility. When we are this
clear conscious crystal ball when we are
born and then we are given the nurture
of our parents and the nature of
genetics onto us, it can often feel like
the world is against us. But when you
realize that that is just a thought and
the actions that you give towards
yourself, such as slowing down and
really getting into your mind, the more
that you're able to understand that even
though it wasn't your fault, it is your
responsibility, but that is a blessing
to have because the more that you have
these responsibilities of your own mind,
the more you can take that into your
everyday and help other people because
you created that fundamental
understanding of yourself and that child
within you.
Thank you so much for joining and I do
really hope that you enjoyed. I will be
delving deeper into these subjects and
how you can
and how you can enjoy life just that
little bit more when you add that
peaceful aspect of your own thoughts and
your own mind as these do create our
reality. The more you dwell on a
negative thought, the more it's going to
manifest and ruminate into something
bigger. But the more you give your mind
and your body a chance to turn that
around and realize that there is a lot
of positives within life and a
positiveness within your thoughts, the
more you're able to take charge of your
own being.
Thank you so much for joining and I hope
to see you again