Self‑Care, Boundaries, and Inner‑Child Work: Interview Highlights

The conversation begins with a discussion about how the interview came to be, with both individuals feeling they had "manifested" the opportunity. One speaker recounts expressing a desire to interview the other to their social media manager, only for the invitation to arrive shortly after. The other speaker reveals a long-standing admiration for the first's work in mental health advocacy, particularly their open and vulnerable discussions on platforms like Vogue, and had been looking for an opportunity to connect. Both expressed a sense of perfect timing and universal alignment in their meeting.

Admiration and Shared Values

The conversation quickly moves to mutual admiration. One speaker expresses admiration for individuals like Michael Pollan, Michael Singer, and Wim Hof, and places the other in a similar category of people driven by curiosity, determination, and patience. They acknowledge knowing some of the other's story and express a personal desire to learn more about their experiences. The other speaker reciprocates this admiration, feeling honored to be grouped with such figures, and highlights the importance of using one's platform to courageously discuss important topics and open dialogues, which they see the first speaker actively doing.

The Joy of Self-Work and Setting Boundaries

A core theme that emerges is the passion for self-improvement and personal growth. One speaker describes self-work as a passion, finding comfort and joy in identifying areas for betterment, whether physical health, exercise, or practices like cold plunges and ice baths, which they note are primarily mental challenges. They emphasize a continuous effort to be the best version of themselves, driven by self-care.

This leads to a discussion about the speaker's public sharing of their personal journey, and a concern about it being perceived as a "pity party." They clarify that their goal is to connect with people, share insights and techniques (like run-walking, deep breathing, and journaling), and offer helpful, positive learning experiences rather than seeking sympathy. The other speaker affirms this perception, seeing the sharing as a positive reminder and an empowering act.

A significant personal achievement highlighted is the decision to set boundaries in a demanding career. At 14, the speaker decided to pursue modeling and achieved significant success. However, by 23 or 24, they realized they were extremely overworked and unhappy, despite loving their job. They felt compelled to say "yes" to everything out of gratitude but eventually reached a point of burnout. Setting boundaries, prioritizing personal happiness and well-being, and learning to say "no" transformed their experience, allowing them to show up better for themselves and others.

The Courage to Prioritize Self

The discussion delves into the courage required to set boundaries in a highly competitive industry, especially when at the peak of success. The speaker admits they hadn't consciously thought of it as courage at the time, but rather as a necessity to avoid losing themselves. They were at a tipping point where further pushing would have been detrimental. Despite external pressures from managers and agents who might have benefited from their continued overwork, they prioritized their well-being, trusting that things would work out even if it meant losing opportunities. This act of self-preservation, the other speaker notes, is a profound form of courage, especially when there's "everything to lose."

Reconnecting with Simple Joys and Purpose

With newfound time, the speaker reconnected with simple joys. While initially overwhelmed by suggestions like meditation and therapy, they focused on small, personal things, like attending a friend's birthday party. Around the same time (age 23), they bought a horse, returning to a lifelong passion for riding and taking more time for activities that brought them happiness.

The conversation highlights a core belief in the importance of happiness. The speaker acknowledges the challenges of maintaining happiness in a demanding industry and the age of social media, where one can easily fall victim to external influences. They emphasize living in their "higher goddess" or "higher self," a state of inner strength and self-worth that cannot be taken away by external opinions or disagreements.

Self-Affirmation and Navigating External Perceptions

The speaker shares their practice of self-affirmation, looking in the mirror and reminding themselves of their positive qualities (e.g., "you're great, you're gorgeous, you're amazing, you're loyal, you're positive"). This practice helps combat false narratives and external judgments, reinforcing their internal sense of self. They reference Charles Horton Cooley's concept of the "looking-glass self" ("I am what I think you think I am"), emphasizing the importance of internal validation over external perceptions.

Healthy Relationships and Managing Overwhelm

Regarding relationships, the speaker values honesty, healthy communication, and the importance of personal space. They acknowledge that family dynamics can be overwhelming and share a simple technique: stepping away for a few breaths to validate their feelings and prevent reactive responses. This simple act of self-care helps them manage anxiety and return to interactions with a calmer mindset.

Processing Grief and Honoring Legacies

The conversation touches on the profound impact of grief, specifically the loss of Virgil Abloh. The speaker expresses the shock and heartbreak, and the universal feeling of wondering if they had expressed enough appreciation. They note the unique experience of sharing this grief with many others, which, while devastating, also creates a sense of shared humanity. They reflect on Virgil's incredibly positive, appreciative, and giving nature, even after his diagnosis, highlighting his selfless dedication to making others feel amazing. The other speaker shares their own recent experiences of losing close individuals during the pandemic, drawing parallels in the profound impact and the desire to embody the beautiful qualities of those lost. Both agree that remembering and embodying the positive qualities of loved ones is a powerful way to honor their legacies.

Evolving Purpose and Spreading Love

The speaker reflects on how their purpose has evolved. While initially focused on a modeling career, their purpose has shifted to a deeper self-connection, tuning into their "higher goddess." They also feel a strong purpose to connect with others, especially through social media, to share, inspire, and spread positivity. They aim to be a "great version of myself for other people to then experience," offering tips and tools to help others feel love and joy, especially in a world that can often feel negative. They agree that simple acts of kindness and focusing on positive news are crucial in retraining our brains away from negativity and clickbait.

The Power of Inner Child Work

A powerful personal practice shared is "inner child work." Inspired by a TikTok trend and discussions with their therapist, the speaker placed a photo of themselves as a child on their bathroom mirror. This serves as a constant reminder that any negative self-talk is directed at that innocent child, fostering self-love and compassion.

Final Five Questions

1. Something you're curious about right now: Deeply tapping into meditation, similar to Michael Singer's journey described in "The Surrender Experiment."
2. Something you're working on personally: Boundaries, calming stress, overthinking, and letting go of control over things they can't influence.
3. Favorite thing about founding 818 (or being an entrepreneur): Being their own boss, having a creative outlet, and learning about the culture and product.
4. Something you used to value but don't anymore: Validation.
5. One law everyone in the world had to follow: On Sundays, everyone must take half the day (or the full day) off their phone.

The conversation concludes with mutual appreciation, a hope for continued friendship, and an invitation for listeners to share what resonated with them. Both speakers emphasize the shared human experience and the importance of kindness and understanding towards oneself and others.