Comedian's Tour: Drink Spiking, Autism Diagnosis & Comedy Backlash

The speaker recounts a series of unusual and challenging experiences during his North American tour, including a suspected drink spiking incident, an unexpected autism diagnosis, and reflections on comedy and social dynamics.

Nashville Incident: Suspected Spiking and Unjust Hangover

While in Nashville for a show, the speaker went out for drinks and a game of pool. After a couple of drinks, he felt unusually intoxicated and began playing Mongolian throat singing on Spotify, which he humorously notes might not be a typical symptom of being spiked. He has significant memory gaps from the evening, including not remembering getting back to his hotel room.

Upon waking, his phone was in the bathroom unplugged, and his belongings were scattered. He initially attributed it to an "unjust hangover," feeling he hadn't drunk enough to warrant such severe symptoms. He tried to "Jordan Peterson" himself, attempting to tidy his room, but continued to vomit every 30 minutes until checkout. He even vomited in the hotel lobby.

A friend, Ian, suggested an IV clinic, which the speaker found to be a very "American" solution. When the clinic was closed, they went to urgent care. The American healthcare system's structure, with urgent care facilities next to burger restaurants, struck him as odd.

At urgent care, his polite demeanor led the receptionist to underestimate the severity of his condition. After waiting while others were called in, he felt another wave of nausea. His mother, via text, advised him to vomit in the lobby to get immediate attention, a "crazy mom advice" he didn't follow due to the bathroom's proximity. He made a loud show of vomiting in the bathroom, which prompted staff to attend to him.

Medical staff confirmed his suspicion, stating that drink spiking is common in certain areas of Nashville. He admitted to not watching his drink while taking photos and interacting with people. He recalled playing pool against "redneck guys," including one named Jimbo, who became aggressive after being soundly defeated. While he couldn't definitively say they spiked his drink, he strongly suspected Jimbo.

He received an anti-vomiting injection, which cost $200, and was able to make his delayed flight to Austin. Due to his weakened state, he requested wheelchair assistance at the airport, claiming an ankle injury. He noted that airports don't typically question such requests, calling it a "life hack." He justified not disclosing the potential poisoning to avoid being denied boarding due to insurance concerns or the airline's reluctance to handle a potential in-flight medical emergency.

Autism Diagnosis and "Girl Autism"

The speaker received an autism diagnosis at age 29. Unlike many who find immediate clarity, his experience was a gradual process. He recalled instances of social faux pas, where he believed interactions were positive only to later learn he had offended someone. This led him to seek professional help.

He described a challenging childhood marked by anxiety, panic attacks, and difficulty with crowds. He even punched his primary school principal at age nine while trying to run away from school. He humorously compared this to an "inverse Russell Brand" situation, where he narrowly avoided legal repercussions due to his age.

After being told by the NHS that the waiting list for an autism assessment was four years, he mentioned it in his stand-up show. During his tour, he received five offers from audience members, including autism practitioners, to conduct the assessment privately and for free. He underwent a comprehensive assessment involving multiple appointments and input from his girlfriend and mother.

The diagnosis revealed he had traits of autism but scored "incredibly high on masking," meaning he was adept at concealing his autistic characteristics. He linked this to "girl autism," a phenomenon where women are often better at masking due to societal expectations and a focus on group dynamics. He also suggested that his profession as a comedian, which involves performing rehearsed scripts and appearing spontaneous, is a form of professional masking.

He grapples with the implications of unmasking, not wanting to be rude but hoping the diagnosis will help people understand if he inadvertently causes social missteps. He expressed frustration with the public's reaction to a person with Tourette's at the BAFTAs, highlighting a lack of understanding about neurological conditions.

He discussed the evolving terminology for autism, noting that "Asperger's" is no longer used due to its association with a Nazi figure. The current classification uses "autism level one, two, and three," with level one (his diagnosis) being what was formerly known as Asperger's, indicating a need for minimal external assistance. He also received an ADHD diagnosis, which he views with more skepticism due to the availability of medication and potential pharmaceutical incentives for diagnosis. He mentioned a possible comorbidity between autism and Ehlers-Danlos syndrome, a hypermobility condition, suggesting a potential link between soft tissue issues in the body and brain.

Irish Times Article and Social Media Backlash

The speaker recounted an incident involving an Irish Times article that reviewed his show. The journalist, whom he respected for her previous work, described his show as "unapologetically local" and implied that if the audience didn't understand the references, it was their problem. This annoyed him, as he felt it perpetuated a stereotype about Northern Irish comedians and made his show seem inaccessible, despite his efforts to explain local nuances to diverse audiences.

He posted a mild complaint on Instagram, which unexpectedly "blew up," garnering 40,000 likes. While some commenters agreed with him, others suggested he had misread the article. The journalist contacted him, feeling her words were taken out of context. They had a "half apology each" conversation, acknowledging that both might have misphrased things. He regretted that some of his followers sent hateful messages to the journalist, emphasizing that it was not his intention. He reflected on the pressure comedians face to engage in online "hot takes" and the difficulty of navigating social media reactions.

Comedy, Authenticity, and "Cringe Cancellation"

The conversation shifted to the nature of comedy, particularly in the context of recent roasts. He noted that roasts have a longer history in American culture than in the UK. He attended a legendary night at the Comedy Store in LA where Dave Chappelle, Shane Gillis, Louis C.K., Chris Rock, and Kanye West all performed. He found Gillis's jokes, including one about Kevin Hart's height, to be incredibly funny, despite the subsequent online backlash. He criticized the "league table" approach to comparing different forms of suffering (e.g., lynching vs. rape) and the tendency to overreact to edgy humor.

He introduced the concept of "cringe cancellation," where someone's brand equity becomes so toxic that associating with them is embarrassing. He cited the "Wizards of Nothing" clip about Steven Bartlett as a canonical example. This type of cancellation, he argued, can happen accidentally or be deliberately constructed to make someone "uncool" or "embarrassing to like."

He discussed the "R-naught number" concept, typically used in epidemiology, to describe how positive or negative associations spread. Just as a good book can lead to more sales through word-of-mouth, cringe cancellation aims to make people actively avoid associating with a person or product.

He expressed a desire to avoid being an "edge lord" in his comedy, aiming to create tension and challenge audiences without resorting to cheap shock value. He observed that some American comedians rely on slurs or offensive language for applause, which he finds "boring and pandering." He strives for a show that makes both right-leaning and left-leaning audience members uncomfortable for different reasons, stretching their perspectives rather than simply giving them what they want.

He also touched on the performative nature of vulnerability and "speed-running relatability" in an attempt to appear authentic. He believes true authenticity is often reverse-engineered to align with a personal brand.

Personal Ambition and "Notions"

The speaker reflected on his own journey with ambition and self-promotion. He recounted an incident where a clip of his podcast, taken out of context, made him appear arrogant about his success at the Edinburgh Fringe Festival. This led to a period of "putting a lid on" his bravado and self-promotion, fearing judgment.

However, through developing his current show, he has worked to regain his confidence and embrace his ambition. He believes he can be "one of the best in the world" at stand-up comedy, a conviction he didn't have in previous careers. He acknowledged the necessity of self-promotion in comedy, despite the discomfort it can bring.

He related this to the "tall poppy syndrome" prevalent in the UK, particularly in working-class areas like Stockton, where overt ambition or confidence is often met with accusations of "having notions" or "being too big for your boots." He admitted to having aggressively downplayed his aspirations in the past to appear more likable and less threatening.

He cited a scene from the movie Coach Carter, where a character learns that "our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate, it's that we are powerful beyond measure," as a turning point in his perspective. He now believes in shining his light to embolden others.

He confessed that he still struggles with this, often performing "performative humility" and believing his own "reverse hype." He sees it as a constant challenge to balance ego with gratitude and to pursue his goals despite internal doubts. He shared an anecdote about turning down an interview with Donald Trump, not because of political alignment, but because he felt he couldn't conduct a meaningful conversation with a "generational communicator" like Trump in a short timeframe.

The speaker reflects on the challenges of self-promotion and ambition, particularly when rooted in a background that didn't encourage grand aspirations. He describes a tendency to downplay achievements, even in interviews for major publications, often resorting to self-deprecating humor. This stems from a belief that he is inherently unlikable and needs to compensate by avoiding any display of ego. He views this as a way to prevent being perceived negatively.

Doing Things Anyway

A core philosophy he discusses, and often shares in his live shows, is "doing the thing in spite of not thinking that you should be able to." This means pursuing opportunities and performing at high levels even when self-doubt is present. He contrasts this with the common motivational advice of "seeing it before you achieve it," suggesting that it's also possible to achieve success without fully believing in oneself. He argues that a lack of confidence, rather than competence, holds many people back, especially in the UK. He notes that individuals with less talent but more confidence often make greater progress.

He believes that having an underlying sense of being a good person, not a narcissist, allows one to push boundaries and be confident without overshooting. He finds it interesting that the fear of becoming a certain negative thing often ensures one never becomes it, drawing a parallel to the idea that if you worry you're a psychopath, you probably aren't one. He also touches on the fear of being misdiagnosed with autism, noting the overlap in symptoms with sociopathy, but highlighting a key difference he can't recall.

The Challenge of Authenticity and Instinct

The speaker admits to having anxiety, possibly linked to autism, which makes him distrust his gut feelings. Unlike those who advise trusting one's instincts, he finds his gut to be "very stressy." He also reveals that many of his interactions are "prefabricated," with responses prepared in advance to avoid relying on instinct. He describes his natural conversational instinct as wanting to ask difficult, interrogative questions, not to challenge or criticize, but to understand people's thought processes, especially when they haven't considered other options. He calls this "momentum," where people slide into decisions rather than actively making them, citing examples from relationships and careers.

The "Guide to Parenting" Podcast

He discusses his podcast, "Mike and Victoria's Guide to Parenting," explaining that the name was chosen for its absurdity, reflecting the silly and unserious nature of the show. Despite the title, it's placed in the "children and family" section of Spotify, leading to occasional messages from listeners genuinely seeking parenting advice.

He observes that the podcast attracts a significant female audience, which he attributes to the show offering a space for men to engage in playful, abstract "shitting around chat." He contrasts this with the stereotype of women being better at emotional communication, suggesting that his podcast provides a type of male interaction that women might not typically experience in their own social circles. He draws a parallel to "The Basement Yard" podcast, which also has a predominantly female audience, and notes the "unbelievable" reaction of the crowd at their Madison Square Garden show. He speculates that women might feel less freedom to be silly or stupid in their own social contexts, while men are often given more leeway.

Navigating the "Manosphere" and Online Identity

The speaker acknowledges the difficulty of discussing topics like personal development, health, and mindset without being associated with the "manosphere." He describes being caught between accusations from different ideological camps: being labeled a "gateway drug to the manosphere" by some, and simultaneously being accused of "feminist lies" and "bluepill thinking" by others within the manosphere itself. He recounts an incident where his podcasting Louis Theroux led to criticism from both feminists and manosphere figures, who united in their disapproval of him platforming Theroux.

He expresses concern that if mainstream media abandons young men, they will be left vulnerable to problematic influences like Andrew Tate. He believes that by offering a more open and less aggressive space, he and his co-host can reach young men before they fall into such ideologies. He cites Jordan Peterson as an example of someone who spoke to him in a non-patronizing way about taking up a positive space in the world, without making him feel like a "piece of shit for being a man."

The Evolution of Content and "Grind Slop"

He reflects on the evolution of his own podcast, which has over 1,100 episodes. Initially, it was driven by his personal quest for self-understanding and navigating the world. However, he feels that much of the foundational "80/20" information on topics like sleep, productivity, diet, and training has already been covered.

He plans to shift the show's focus towards more conversational, "hang-out" style content, where he and his friends simply talk about whatever comes up. He anticipates losing some audience members who prefer purely informational content but believes that in an age of AI, raw information dumping is less valuable. He aims to provide a sense of connection and "male intimacy" that feels less like "homework" and more like a casual chat. He refers to this shift as moving away from "grind slop," a term for the relentless pursuit of productivity and self-improvement, which he believes is no longer as necessary or beneficial.

The Future of Real-World Experiences

He expresses hope that the rise of AI and the increasing difficulty of trusting online content will lead to a resurgence of real-world experiences, such as live music and stand-up comedy. He notes that the phone is starting to give him "the ick" because of the uncertainty surrounding the authenticity of online content, even simple cat videos. He believes that being in the real world might become "back in fashion."

He laments the decline of nightclubs in the UK, noting that one closes every week. He jokes about the resilience of certain types of clubs, like "Flares," as a benchmark for the industry's health.

A "Belfast" Threat and Community

He shares an anecdote about a peculiar "threat" he received during his stand-up tour. While discussing the contentious naming conventions of Northern Ireland, someone in the audience shouted "Trench," the name of the street his father grew up on in West Belfast. While not overtly threatening, he found it unsettling due to its implication of knowing his background, especially in the context of a sensitive topic. He compares it to gangsters subtly flexing their knowledge of a person's private life.

He reflects on the close-knit nature of Irish communities, where family feuds and connections run deep, unlike in England or Scotland. He attributes this partly to rurality and the embeddedness of agricultural communities. He strives to build a similar sense of community in North London, citing an Italian neighbor who feeds foxes and occasionally asks for help with WhatsApp, creating a reciprocal relationship. He emphasizes the importance of these connections, especially in a world where people might feel increasingly isolated.

Italian Traditions and Childhood Fears

He shares a unique Italian Christmas tradition involving "La Befana," an old witch-like figure who, after refusing to help the wise men find Jesus, felt remorse and gave gifts to all children in the hope of finding the newborn Son of God. He recalls this tradition from his childhood in Belfast, where an old lady dressed as a witch would give presents to children in a community hall. He found this less traumatic than other childhood fears, such as being terrified of the Little Mermaid at Disney World because she didn't have legs.

He also recounts a terrifying experience on the Tower of Terror ride at Disney World, where someone's belongings came loose during the fall, leading to a chaotic scene. He mentions the Alton Towers "Smiler" roller coaster incident, where people lost limbs, as a reason he avoids roller coasters. He humorously debates which leg he would choose to lose if forced, concluding he'd keep his right leg to train for the Paralympics as a one-legged football player.

Echolalia and Final Thoughts

He briefly discusses echolalia, a condition where one repeats words or noises, which he experiences when he likes the sound of a word. He gives an example of repeating "indigo" repeatedly.

He concludes by encouraging listeners to check out his work on Instagram and his two stand-up specials on YouTube, suggesting they watch those before deciding to buy tickets to his live shows.