Early Life and Artistic Beginnings

The story of Jeffrey Dahmer, the notorious serial killer, profoundly impacted his former high school friend, Derf Backderf, leading him to create the graphic novel "My Friend Dahmer." This project became a 20-year struggle for Backderf to comprehend how his seemingly ordinary high school acquaintance transformed into a monster.

Early Life and Artistic Beginnings

Backderf, who grew up in Bath Richfield, Ohio, a small, uneventful town, constantly drew as a child, documenting his life and thoughts. He was deeply immersed in comic strips, a passion that continued into the 90s when the Dahmer story broke.

The Revelation

On July 23, 1991, Jeffrey Dahmer was apprehended in Milwaukee. News reports detailed the discovery of body parts in his apartment, leading to his arrest. Backderf vividly recalls the phone call informing him that a former Bath High School graduate from the class of '78 had committed these horrific acts. Initially, he guessed other names, but the eventual revelation that it was Dahmer was a shock, akin to being "punched in the head."

Unsettling Discoveries

After learning the news, Backderf returned to his parents' home to sift through his high school belongings. He found old drawings of Jeff Dahmer, some made during class or in the cafeteria. He also rediscovered instances of Dahmer's peculiar behavior, such as his "Dahmer-stick" – a character he invented with odd tics and jerky movements that Backderf and his friends would imitate. These discoveries were deeply unsettling, as they recontextualized seemingly harmless teenage antics into something much darker.

Dahmer's Impact on Personal History

Backderf feels that Dahmer "hijacked" his personal history, rewriting his memories. The goofy actions they once shared now carried a sinister meaning, making him question what Dahmer was truly thinking during those moments.

Revisiting the Past

Backderf reconnected with old friends, Neil and Mike, who were also affected by the news. They shared stories and tried to comprehend the murders. One particularly chilling memory involved Dahmer approaching Backderf at his locker, placing his head on Backderf's chest, and saying, "I just wanted to listen to your heart. I want to make sure you're still alive."

The Crime Scene and Dahmer's Childhood Home

In 1991, police converged on Dahmer's childhood home in Bath Township, where they unearthed the scattered bones of Steven Hicks, Dahmer's first victim. Backderf visited the house while it was still a crime scene, ringed with police tape.

Years later, his friend Chris Butler, a musician, bought the house. Backderf initially tried to dissuade him, but Butler transformed it into a home filled with music and art. Butler shared an anecdote about being attacked by a hawk on the property, near where Dahmer had dismembered Hicks. When he contacted the Ohio Department of Wildlife Management, they suggested he use a brightly colored umbrella with painted eyes to deter the protected bird. Butler found the irony in walking around Dahmer's childhood home with such an umbrella.

Backderf noted the house's layout, particularly the close proximity of Dahmer's bedroom to his parents' room, just three feet apart. He pondered how Dahmer's parents could have been so disconnected from their son's deteriorating mental state. He also observed the narrow, slit-like windows in Dahmer's room, which he felt mirrored Dahmer's constricted view of the outside world.

The Creative Process of "My Friend Dahmer"

Backderf's journey to create the graphic novel was challenging. His initial attempts at drawing the story were not satisfactory. He struggled to remember Dahmer's characteristics, especially his distinctive gait – shoulders thrust forward, arms straight – which he only fully recalled after seeing Dahmer's first court appearance.

Dahmer's death in prison in November 1994, killed by Christopher Scarver, was a surprising emotional blow for Backderf. He questioned why he felt upset about the death of a monster. However, Dahmer's death also served as a catalyst, freeing him mentally to begin seriously working on the book in early 1995.

His wife noted his intense dedication, describing him as "consumed" by the project, often disappearing into the attic for long periods. Backderf aimed to add humanity to his portrayal of Dahmer, showing its gradual erosion.

The "Dahmer Fan Club"

Backderf's friend, who was a musician and later a librarian, described Backderf's career, particularly his weekly comic strip "The City." He noted that Backderf often incorporated anecdotes from his friends into his comics.

The title "My Friend Dahmer" is not an exaggeration, though it was a strange friendship. No one, including Backderf, truly knew the real Jeffrey Dahmer. The "Dahmer Fan Club" started when they were around 15 or 16, an informal group that found Dahmer's goofy antics amusing. He would mimic people, do "spaz" acts, and make them laugh. Backderf would draw these scenes, and even Dahmer would laugh at them.

The fan club consisted of Backderf, Mike, Kent, Neil, and Dahmer himself. They were not the popular kids but rather "brainy weirdos" who engaged in subversive activities. One such incident involved them creating campaign posters for Dahmer in a student council election, leading to him receiving more votes than any other candidate. Another example was Dahmer appearing in group photographs for organizations he wasn't a part of, such as the National Honor Society. An advisor even blacked out Dahmer's face in one photo, creating the mystery of the "headless person."

The Woods and the "Hut"

Backderf often found creative inspiration in the woods near his childhood home, where he would wander for hours. He noted that Dahmer also grew up in these woods but used them for a "very different purpose" – a hiding place for his "horrible fantasies."

He recounted an incident where children found a dog's head in the woods, which he interpreted as Dahmer's retaliation against intruders into his world. Backderf emphasized the importance of immersing oneself in a space to understand how it affects characters in a story. He described the opening scene of his book, where Dahmer walks along Bath Road, and how the crunching sound of gravel underfoot became a significant detail.

Backderf pointed out the crawl space in Dahmer's former home where he dismembered his first victim, noting its proximity to his friend Neil's house, where they were having a party at the time. He chose to end his story before delving into the more gruesome details of Dahmer's crimes, as that was not his personal narrative.

He also showed the remains of Dahmer's "clubhouse," known as "the hut," a common feature for kids in the area. While others used their clubhouses as refuges, Dahmer used his for "sick fantasies" involving death and rotting animals.

A Murder Ballad and a Difficult Recovery

Chris Butler, living in Dahmer's former home, wrote a murder ballad about Dahmer, reflecting on his broken childhood and the horrific acts he committed. The song highlights Dahmer's fear of abandonment as a motivation for his crimes.

Backderf faced a significant learning curve in transitioning from short comic strips to a 250-page graphic novel. He had to learn to slow down and control the pace of the narrative. He also grappled with his own feelings about Dahmer.

His work on "My Friend Dahmer" was interrupted when he was diagnosed with cancer and required bypass surgery. His wife, concerned about his drawing arm, wrote "NO!" on it with a Sharpie to prevent doctors from taking veins from it. After recovering, Backderf, still with staples in his chest, sat on his couch and began drawing pages for the book, finding it a crucial part of his recovery.

Brutal Honesty and the End of a Friendship

Backderf believes that writing a memoir requires "brutal honesty," even if it means portraying oneself in an unflattering light. He recalled an incident where Dahmer, then 17, chugged an entire six-pack of beer in 15 minutes on the way to the mall, a spooky sight that made his skin crawl.

The "Dahmer Fan Club" paid Dahmer to perform his "crazy stick-tick" act at the mall. This event marked the peak and the end of the fan club. Backderf and his friends lost interest in Dahmer, sensing that "something seriously wrong" was happening and that it was no longer safe to be around him.

Backderf and others often wondered if they could have intervened or been kinder to Dahmer. He acknowledged that Dahmer's off-putting nature made it difficult to approach him, especially later on. The series of people leaving Dahmer's life, including his friends, had a significant psychological effect, contributing to his fear of abandonment, which in turn motivated his horrific acts.

The book concludes with a poignant scene where Backderf's friend Mike gives Dahmer a ride home after a party in June 1978. This was the last time Backderf ever saw Dahmer. He later learned that Dahmer would commit his first murder in that house, possibly with the body still present when Mike dropped him off. This realization led Backderf to create a visual surprise for the reader, with a splash page depicting the house after Mike drives away, symbolizing the last time any of them saw Dahmer.

A Complicated Legacy

Backderf reflects on the strange success of "My Friend Dahmer." Despite its dark subject matter, the book completely changed his career, elevated his reputation, and led to more books and world tours. He describes his relationship with the story as "very complicated."