How to Heal Past Relationship Failures and Embrace Real Love

Name: This video will find you 3 days before God shows you what real love is
Uploaded: 2025-10-04T17:32:53+00:00
Duration: 8 min 14 s
Channel: Jonathan Brisco
Description: Summary and key takeaways on How to Heal Past Relationship Failures and Embrace Real Love, covering Reflection on Past Failures Inconsistent behavior

Jonathan Brisco

Oct 04, 2025

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8 min video

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1 min read

YouTube video ID: F8-jGmK7NdA

Source: YouTube video by Jonathan Brisco — Watch original video

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Inconsistent behavior, impatience, and a lack of kindness marked earlier relationships. Letting down those who offered love created an emotional toll that deepened self‑doubt. Numbing oneself and adopting the belief that love is “not for me” only reinforced a false narrative of being unworthy, trapping the cycle of failure.

The Nature of Real Love

Real love does not rely on control, fixing a partner, or begging for attention. It appears when someone chooses you not only on your best days but also when you feel unworthy. Showing up while scared, extending patience, and apologizing even when pride resists are hallmarks of authentic love. As one quote puts it, “Real love, it don’t look like what I thought. It don’t look like control.”

The Path to Healing

Self‑love must precede any external relationship. This foundation requires stopping participation in draining environments, setting clear boundaries, and distinguishing genuine affection from mere attention. Forgiving oneself for past ignorance clears the way for growth. True love should sharpen and soften a person, bringing peace rather than chaos, and it begins inside before it ever shows up in somebody else.

Encouragement for the Future

The idea that one is “too broken” for love is rejected. Waiting for love that adds to life, rather than drains it, becomes the guiding principle. “You are not unworthy of love. You are not too broken for love,” reminds the journey toward healthier connections. An ebook titled Letting go when God says so offers further guidance and is linked in the description.

Takeaways

Inconsistent behavior and impatience in past relationships created a cycle of self‑doubt that was reinforced by numbing and the belief that love is unattainable.
Real love is defined by choosing a partner on their worst days, showing up while scared, and offering patience without trying to control or fix them.
Self‑love requires setting boundaries, leaving draining environments, and learning to differentiate genuine affection from superficial attention.
Forgiving oneself for past ignorance clears the path for internal growth, allowing true love to sharpen and soften rather than create chaos.
Rejecting the notion of being "too broken" opens the way to wait for love that adds value to life, supported by resources such as the ebook "Letting go when God says so".

Frequently Asked Questions

What does real love look like according to the commentary?

Real love is described as choosing a partner even on their worst days, showing up while scared, offering patience, apologizing despite pride, and avoiding control or attempts to fix the other. It sharpens and softens, brings peace, and is felt as genuine affection rather than chaotic attention.

Who is Jonathan Brisco on YouTube?

Jonathan Brisco is a YouTube channel that publishes videos on a range of topics. Browse more summaries from this channel below.

Does this page include the full transcript of the video?

Yes, the full transcript for this video is available on this page. Click 'Show transcript' in the sidebar to read it.

Helpful resources related to this video

If you want to practice or explore the concepts discussed in the video, these commonly used tools may help.

Journal For Self Reflection And Healing Recommended

A guided journal provides a structured space to process past relationship failures and practice the self-reflection necessary for emotional growth.

Amazon →

Books On Setting Healthy Relationship Boundaries

These books offer practical frameworks for distinguishing between healthy affection and draining attention, helping the reader establish the standards mentioned in the video.

Amazon →

Daily Affirmations For Self Love And Healing

Affirmation cards or books help reinforce the speaker's message that one is not 'too broken' for love, aiding in the daily practice of self-worth.

Amazon →

Links may be affiliate links. We only include resources that are genuinely relevant to the topic.

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Full Transcript YouTube

You know,
I got to be real with you right now.
I made a lot of mistakes when it came
down to love.
And I'm not afraid to admit that
anymore.
Like, like I wasn't always the man that
I was supposed to be.
I I wasn't always the person that
somebody could depend on. I wasn't
consistent. I wasn't always patient.
Sometimes I wasn't even kind. And if I'm
honest,
it eats at me because I look back and I
know some people deserve better than the
version that I gave them. You know what
I'm saying?
And for me, you know, that's that's a
hard pill to swallow
knowing you let down somebody who just
wanted to love you.
But the truth is is I got to sit in that
truth because running from it only made
me colder. It only made me numb.
It only made me convince myself that
maybe love just wasn't for me. Like
maybe God didn't write that chapter in
my story. You know what I mean?
Maybe he skipped me when he was handing
out healthy relationships.
[Music]
And I started to get comfortable with
with saying it out loud. You know what I
mean? I start saying stuff like, "I'll
never find love." And and and that's
fine. It's not for me. Maybe I'm just
not built for it. And I would say it
like I didn't care. But deep down I did.
Deep down, I wanted to believe in it.
That's the truth.
I just didn't trust myself with it
because every time I tried, I felt like
I failed.
And every time I failed,
I confir I I I confirmed the voice in my
head saying, "See, this ain't for you."
And sometimes I still wrestle with that
thought, to be honest with you. I still
wrestle with the fear that maybe I'll
always be alone in that area. I still
wrestle with that to this day. And maybe
I'll never get to feel that, you know,
that safe, that safe, steady kind of
love. And maybe that's the price that I
have to pay for who I used to be. But
here's the thing.
Time has a way of teaching you.
Heartbreak has a way of exposing you.
Loss has a way of reshaping you. And in
all my mistakes, I learned I learned
some things about myself and I learned
some things about love. That's what I
learned. And I realized that the problem
wasn't that love wasn't for me. You
know, the problem was that I didn't know
what real love actually was.
Because real love,
it don't look like what I thought.
It don't look like control. It don't
look like, you know, somebody trying to
fix you.
It don't look like somebody trying to
fix you while breaking themselves.
It don't look like begging somebody to
stay who already got one foot out the
door. No, it don't look like that.
Real love looks like showing up even
when you're scared.
It looks like patience when you don't
feel like waiting.
It looks like apologizing when your
pride is screaming at you not to. That's
what it looks like. It looks like like
like somebody choosing you not just on
your best days, but on the days that you
feel like you ain't worth choosing.
That's what it looks like.
And I didn't know that before. I had to,
you know, fail to understand it. I had
to sit in heartbreak to even recognize
it. I had to look at my own reflection
and say, "Man, you weren't ready. You
weren't healed. You weren't honest." And
that stump and it still stings,
but it changed me. And now I want to
talk to you because maybe you're sitting
where I was. Maybe you're telling
yourself that love ain't for you. Maybe,
you know, you're comfortable in your
loneliness, not like me. Maybe you've
even convinced yourself that it's easier
to just stop believing.
But I came to tell you what I had to
learn the hard way. You are not unworthy
of love. You are not too broken for
love. And love is not done with you. And
listen, you can't shortcut it. You can't
manipulate it.
You can't force it out of people who
don't know how to give it.
You can't, you know, fake it for for for
too long because love will always expose
the truth. But what you can do is start
with you. Start with healing you. Start
with learning to love yourself in a way
that you never did before. That's what
you can do. And when I say love
yourself, you know, I don't mean those
cute little self-care days and taking
pictures in a mirror and stuff like
that. I mean really loving yourself
enough to stop putting yourself in
places that drain you. Loving yourself
enough to set standards and not, you
know, break them just because you're
lonely.
loving yourself enough to forgive
yourself for what you didn't know then
so you can, you know, grow into what you
know now. That's what I mean. And that
kind of self love is the foundation.
Because the truth is is is real love
starts in you before it ever shows up in
somebody else. And hear me, love is not
supposed to be chaos. It's not supposed
to drain the life out of you every day.
It's supposed to sharpen you. It's
supposed to to soften you. It's supposed
to bring peace even in a storm. And when
you get that revelation, see, you stop
chasing the people who only love the
version of you that benefits them.
You stop confusing attention with
affection. You stop letting anybody with
sweet words rent space in your heart.
You know what I mean? And you start
moving different. you start, you know,
holding out for the kind of love that
doesn't hurt to hold. The kind of love
that makes you better without making you
smaller. That's what's going on. The
kind of love that, you know, doesn't
compete with your healing, but adds to
it. And the truth is is it's still out
there for you. It's still waiting for
you. And I know some of you don't
believe that anymore because of what
you've been through. But I need you to I
need you to hold on to the fact that
your story isn't finished. Your heart
isn't too late.
I need you to hold on to that
because love ain't gone. It's growing
and it's growing with you. And one day
when you least expect it, it's going to
meet you. I promise you that. But this
time, it's not going to meet you in this
broken version of you. is going to meet
the healed version, the honest version,
the stronger version.
And that's when you'll realize that love
never left. It was just always waiting
for you to be ready. But like I always
say, you're going to have to let go of a
lot of different things.
A lot of different things.
And if you need help with letting go, I
dropped that ebook. Like I always say,
letting go when God says so. The link is
in the description.
I learned a lot over this journey, man.
I learned a lot about love, man. I
almost gave up on it.
And I know that's probably you right
now. You don't have to give up on love.
Check out the ebook. Hey, handle your
business. I'll see you guys when I see
you guys. Peace.