Jacob and Esau Lessons: How to Aim Up and Transform Your Life

The speaker began by expressing amusement at the "We Who Wrestle With God" tour appearing in Las Vegas, a city known for its vices, noting the irony of being considered "too controversial for Vegas." He then introduced the central theme of the evening: "Which way's up?" and its profound meaning.

The "We Who Wrestle With God" Tour and the Nature of a Lecture

The tour serves as an early exploration of themes from his upcoming book, "We Who Wrestle With God," set to be published in November. The speaker has been editing and refining the book while on tour, using live audiences to test ideas, much like a stand-up comedian. He values audience feedback, noting that silence indicates engagement, while enthusiastic responses confirm what resonates. This dynamic creates a "dialogue" between speaker and audience, a collective experience that, when successful, embodies a shared spirit.

He described his approach to lecturing not as an attempt to convince or tell, but as an "active dramatization of wrestling" with a single, real, and important question. For this lecture, the question is "What does it mean to aim up?" He emphasized the importance of genuine curiosity from both the speaker and the audience for a lecture to be truly engaging.

The Story of Jacob and Esau: A Foundation for Understanding "Aiming Up"

The book and the lecture draw heavily from stories, particularly the biblical library, which he views as collections of characterizations akin to fictional works. He began with the story of Jacob and Esau, highlighting Jacob's initial flaws, a common trait among Old Testament patriarchs. This offers a sense of relief, as it suggests that progress is possible even for imperfect individuals.

The Archetype of the Hostile Brothers

The conflict between Jacob and Esau embodies the ancient motif of hostile brothers, a theme constantly re-portrayed in modern stories like Batman and the Joker, Harry Potter and Voldemort, or Superman and Lex Luthor. This dynamic explores the antithesis between heroic and villainous patterns of being. The speaker argued that understanding the "bad guy" is crucial, not as a role model, but to recognize destructive patterns and avoid them.

He distinguished between casual villains and archetypal figures like the Joker (as portrayed by Heath Ledger), Voldemort, or Sauron, who represent a profound "downward path." Sauron, with his all-seeing eye, symbolizes the totalitarian state. The speaker warned that the cost of not aiming up is falling under the dominion of such a state. If individuals fail to take responsibility for self-governance, someone else will fill that void, often with contempt and tyranny. This is an "eternal pattern" of the battle between hostile brothers.

Sibling Rivalry and Parental Favoritism

The story of Jacob and Esau also illustrates intense sibling rivalry, particularly between same-sex siblings competing for resources. He noted that spacing children by about three years can minimize rivalry, as a three-year-old is more social and can form a relationship with a new baby. Attention is the "ultimate valuable resource," and intense fights for parental attention can arise.

In the biblical narrative, Jacob's mother, Rachel, favors him, while Esau is his father Isaac's favorite. Esau is depicted as a "hairy brute," a masculine hunter, admired by his father. Jacob is more of a "homeboy," favored by his mother. Esau's impulsiveness and lack of concern for the future make him susceptible to Jacob's more serpentine and manipulative nature.

The Betrayal and Its Consequences

Jacob, born seconds after Esau, is literally holding his brother's heel, a symbol of jealousy and envy. As the firstborn, Esau is entitled to a double portion of the inheritance, a custom in archaic societies to prevent the fragmentation of wealth. Rachel and Jacob conspire to steal this birthright.

The speaker described a particularly ugly incident where Esau, ravenous from hunting, impulsively trades his birthright for a bowl of Jacob's porridge. This highlights the danger of an admirable exploratory nature unchecked by "civilized wisdom" and concern for the future. Esau sacrifices his inheritance for an immediate whim, a "stupid deal."

The conspiracy deepens when Isaac, on his deathbed, plans to bless Esau. Rachel and Jacob again conspire, with Jacob disguising himself as Esau to receive the blessing. This makes Jacob a "usurper," someone who takes an undeserved position of authority. This act is linked to the "Luciferian impulse to overthrow" and the intellect's temptation to usurp established order.

Betrayal and the Depths of Hell

The speaker then connected this betrayal to Dante's Inferno, where betrayers are placed at the lowest level of hell, next to Satan. He explained that betrayal is the most profound sin because it violates trust, the fundamental element of any relationship and the bedrock of community.

He used the example of marital conflict to illustrate how investigating deep-seated problems can feel like a journey into Dante's Inferno. Couples often avoid conflict, but when they do engage, it can reveal deeper issues, often rooted in betrayal. He noted that both partners might have built-up resentments from past relationships or family dynamics. Unearthing these betrayals is painful, as it requires confronting one's own willful blindness and contributions to the problem.

The Courage of Trust

The speaker argued that the alternative to bitterness and distrust is "wise trust," which requires courage. Cynicism, while an improvement over naive trust, ultimately isolates. True wisdom involves trusting despite past hurts, extending a hand of trust as an act of courage. This is essential in marriage and in society. He highlighted that the default trust in trade in societies like the United States is a "complete bloody miracle" and the foundation of wealth, far more than natural resources. This ethos of trust is what allows communities to flourish.

The Path of Cain and Abel

Jacob's actions are contrasted with this ethos. His crookedness and his mother's enabling lead to Esau's rightful place being usurped. Esau, upon learning of the theft, vows to kill Jacob, mirroring the story of Cain and Abel. The speaker connected this to the "victim-victimizer narrative" prevalent in culture, citing Marxism as a "pathological variant" that defines success as theft, leading to envy and hatred. He warned that envy is a "deadly sin" that leads to misery and death.

Jacob's Transformation: Aiming Up

Jacob, realizing Esau's murderous intent, flees. The speaker emphasized that Jacob, though flawed, is young, and his journey offers hope for all flawed individuals. His departure from home is a step towards maturation, even if born of conflict.

Jacob then makes a "key decision": he decides to "aim up." This means choosing to stop doing stupid things and striving for something better. This decision involves a twofold faith: 1. Belief in "up": A provisional agreement that a moral framework exists and that a "better" or "less hellish" path is possible. 2. Belief in oneself: The risk that one is capable of aiming up, despite past failures.

The Prayer of Self-Reflection

To begin this transformation, the speaker offered a "prayer that'll be answered": "What stupid thing am I doing or did I do that increased the probability that this hellish situation is upon me? What stupid thing did I do that I might be willing to try not to do again?" This involves admitting one's contribution to suffering and identifying small, actionable changes. He suggested this approach for resolving intractable arguments, where admitting even a small fault can open the door to resolution.

This "soul-searching" and "confession" are painful but necessary to avoid replicating past errors and to escape "unnecessary misery." He contrasted this with the Pharaoh in the story of Moses, who, instead of admitting error, "doubles down," leading to escalating plagues and ultimately the destruction of his future.

Jacob's Ladder: A Vision of Upward Aim

Jacob, away from his mother's influence, begins to awaken. He builds an altar to God, signifying a sacrifice of his immaturity and self-centeredness in his attempt to aim upward. This act of ritualized sacrifice marks a commitment to transformation.

The speaker noted that while modern society lacks such clear rituals, individuals still decide to aim upward. This often begins with recognizing and stopping actions known to be wrong, like the "thou shalt not" of the commandments.

Jacob's dream of a ladder reaching to heaven, with angels ascending and descending, is a vision of this upward aim. This ancient motif, found in various cultures (Mount Sinai, pyramids, Yggdrasil, Jack and the Beanstalk), represents a structure uniting the profane and divine realms, allowing for communication and ascent. Jacob "opened the door" by deciding to aim up.

The Accelerating Nature of Progress and Failure

As one aims up, their moral vision clarifies, revealing more subtle errors and opportunities for growth. This leads to an "ever-expanding field of opportunities," each requiring a more costly sacrifice. As one gains more responsibility, greater wisdom is demanded.

The speaker connected this to the "Matthew principle": "To those who have everything, more will be given. From those who have nothing, everything will be taken." This means progress and failure are not linear but accelerate. Once one starts improving, the process speeds up; once one starts failing, it accelerates downwards.

The "upward calling" manifests differently for each person and at different life stages, yet it is the same spirit. The speaker defined God in the story of Jacob and Esau as "the spirit that lurks behind all upward aim." This definition allows for a rapid and realistic relationship with the divine.

The Promise of Upward Aim

By asking, "My life isn't everything it could be... some of that's on me... I would like to rectify that," one initiates this process. This decision, based on faith in transformation and the existence of an "up," will likely reveal a step forward. Taking that step, in turn, reveals the next, larger step.

The "Jacob's ladder" vision calls one to be an "avatar of the highest possible spirit," the "voice of the image of God" within. This upward aim brings relief to oneself and loved ones, builds reputation, allows for the establishment of something permanent, and benefits everyone. This is "wrestling with God" and establishing a covenant with the Lord.

The speaker emphasized that this is not "superstitious archaic claptrap" but a description of the universal pathway forward. It requires humility, courage to face one's sins, and a determination to rectify them. This leads to harmony within oneself, relationships, and community.

He concluded by reiterating that the evidence for "down" is one's own misery. Denying this only multiplies suffering. The "risk" of aiming up is merely the risk of dispensing with one's idiocy. The alternative is a "fool's journey" that leads to the "worst possible failure." He asserted that everyone knows "which way up is" and that committing to this path transforms possibility into the "kingdom of God," a meaningful adventure that allows one to become everything they could be.

Q&A Session

Raising a Mindful Child Amidst "Wokeism" and "Toxic Gender Ideologies"

A soon-to-be father asked how to raise a mindful child in the current cultural climate. The speaker offered advice based on his own experience:

• Embrace the child's offer: A child offers the opportunity for the best possible relationship, uncorrupted by the baggage of adult relationships. This is a "divine offering" and a profound privilege.
• Prioritize time with children: He recalled that even as a Harvard professor, nothing was better than spending time with his children. Children offer a "re-engagement with life" and allow adults to see the world through fresh eyes.
• Encourage play: Play is the "highest form of human endeavor" and the "opposite of tyranny."
• Build a "walled garden" of trust: By establishing a deep, grateful, and full relationship with children, parents create a "fortress" where children learn to handle the "serpents of the world." This trust makes them resistant to propaganda, as cult leaders target the confused and lost.
• Teach critical thinking: His daughter, Michaela, recalled that he taught her, "Don't listen to stupid rules." This fostered skepticism and a habit of researching both sides of an argument to determine what was logical.
• Educate broadly and engage in discussion: Familiarize children with books early, read challenging material, and foster discussion at meal times.

Moving Forward After Abortions

A woman in her 50s expressed deep regret over past abortions. The speaker advised:

• Avoid unnecessary self-punishment: "Your unnecessary misery isn't improving the world."
• Utilize "Past Authoring" on self-authoring.com: Write down absolutely everything remembered about the events and surrounding circumstances. This "exploration into the heart of darkness" is unpleasant but necessary for understanding and forgiveness.
• Grapple with past mistakes with mature wisdom: Recognize that younger self made decisions under different circumstances and with less wisdom.
• Detail situational and ideological factors: Make a thorough case both against and for oneself.
• Understand the purpose of memory: Memories that "plague" indicate something not fully understood or digested. They serve as a warning to prevent repeating past mistakes.
• Confront voluntarily: Delving into painful memories, though horrible, is worse not to do. Voluntary confrontation can transform a "hideous beast" into an ally.
• Seek atonement: Through this process, one can learn what to do in the present and future to atone and reconcile with past misdeeds.

Overcoming Skepticism About Religion

Regarding skepticism about religion, the speaker shared his own journey:

• Question one's own skepticism: He reflected on his youthful reasons for leaving the church, acknowledging some were dishonest (not wanting to go) and some honest (discrepancies with evolution, perceived hypocrisy). He later realized that even imperfect attempts to "aim up" (like attending church once a week) are better than none.
• Consider contributing to improvement: If one believes the church is corrupt, perhaps they could be a "shining example" to improve it.
• Beware of having "nothing above them": The belief that one is above all authority is dangerous and leads to tyranny.
• Recognize the value of peace and community: After a period of severe illness, he found peace and relief in religious ceremonies. He also understood that virtue cannot be pursued alone; it requires communal effort and sacrifice, including time and willingness to overlook minor disagreements.
• Challenge the idea of "no upward aim": This is a destructive idea. It's better to assume that if one has a "beef" with traditions, it's likely due to a lack of understanding.